


Distorted World

by Glanc3



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: (almost) attempted suicide, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Angst, Blood, Cannibalism, Feelings and stuff, Fluff, Happy and Sad Moments, M/M, Sexual Tension, Tsukiyama is actually cool looking in this fic, black haired kaneki, but he acts lame, can you feel all this gay tension, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2677745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glanc3/pseuds/Glanc3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A zombie apocalypse AU but zombies are called ghouls in this universe!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fateful Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea in my head for like a month and I wrote just a small mini story on what it would be like to have these characters in a zombie universe. Anyways I finally got to writing it but I'm lazy with multi-chaptered fics so I hope you enjoy your stay for a little bit!

 

The world felt like it had stopped completely, but clearly the world was doing just fine. It was doing perfectly fine even though the people living on it weren’t. Earth was rotating around the sun and the moon rotated around the earth. Though there was light that casted around the planet, there were still shadows from that light. To the people who were living on that sole planet – they never saw the sun anymore. The light never shined, but only darkness of the shadows were to be seen. The people lived in the shadows and never could approach light.

It felt like life was put on hold and it was told to wait before it could continue to bloom. But while it was on hold, time caught up and everything started to wilt. Though it felt like time no longer existed, and neither did the people. Life of the people started to deteriorate and fatal events started to occur more and more everyday. Lives started to wilt and rot, and only the ones who waited in line for that acceptance to bloom were only waiting for death to cut in line and claim their life.

There were still few people striving on earth to fight to live. The ones who fought were good and bad, though there would be no judgment for who you are and what you do. The only thing that would eventually come to you is death and even if there is a blossom in life, you will still wilt and your life will end in tragedy.

 

Kaneki sat alone on the cold, wooden floor of an abandoned coffee shop that was located in the middle of the lifeless city. He sat in the corner of the shop behind the counter in a sweaty state. Every single breath he took made his body tremble with fear and every breath that came out of his mouth formed into fog from the cold autumn weather.

The sweat that formed on his forehead soaked into his black hair. The tips of his hair collected so much of the sweat it started to bead off and drip onto the cracked floorboards. Kaneki sat in a dazed position as he watched the floorboard soak up the salty liquid. He licked his dry lips attempting to get them wet. By looking at the tasteful liquid only made his mouth water even more.

Kaneki had just run a few miles throughout the city trying to gather more items that he needed to survive. He didn’t plan to run the entire area around but now things never go according to plan. He had originally planned to scavenge a new area, which meant leaving the old area he had been currently living in. He had been staying in a cramped environment that was in a small apartment located a few miles over near the university he used to attend. He had been living there ever since things took a turn for the worst 6 months ago. Kaneki still remembers that day so clearly, as if it was the only memory he had stored in his brain, as if it happened just yesterday.

He remembers seeing on his small television set that the local news channel was talking about a sudden outbreak in the cities. The faces of the news reporters were struck with terror and concern for their own lives and each other’s. Kaneki could easily read from their faces that they did not want to be there reporting and that they’d rather be leaving the country. The outbreak was small and was only happening where they lived, Japan. Reporters were talking about that the disease was made by a small terrorization group called _Aogiri Tree_.

Police officers released photos of those who were in the group. With the cameras set up around all over the city the police released a few photos of members in the group. One picture was taken from one of the street cameras and it was a picture of their leader, Tatara. He had short white hair and the colors of his eyes were dark, a soulless looking shade. He also wore a red mask that looked like it was made out of iron and a white cloak. He or any of the other members have not been captured. The reporters didn't discuss anything else such as how this disease was spread and it there was a cure for it. Nobody discussed how it really worked all they had to say was to "leave or die." Everything was so rushed it felt like the broadcast was over in a blink of an eye.

After that was said Kaneki quickly grabbed the television remote and turned the TV off. He ran to his bedroom and grabbed his backpack that was filled with his schoolbooks and he dumped them all out. He ran to his kitchen with the backpack in hand and filled it with food, medicine, a favorite book he liked to reread from time to time and also kitchen knives for protection and defense. After he figured he was all suited up he threw the backpack over his shoulders and ran out of his apartment in a hurry.

He ran a few blocks to the university where Kaneki and his best friend went to attend. Kaneki had no classes today but his friend, Hide, did. Kaneki stood outside just a few feet from the doors breathing heavily. Students and teachers ran outside of the building screaming and crying, Kaneki stood in the way of the people trying to leave and the majority of the people that ran by him hit him. As they ran by their shoulders collided with his own and almost knocked him down to his feet with the strong force.

Kaneki stood in the middle of the crowd and pulled out his cell phone from his pant pocket. He unlocked the screen and dug through his contacts to find Hide’s number. He pressed his thumb down hard into the screen desperate to reach Hide to see if his best friend was okay and where he was located at. As Kaneki waited for what felt like years just to get the phone to start ringing the phone switched quickly to the audio voice message that said, “ _Service unavailable.”_

In frustration he shut his phone off and decided to look for Hide himself. He stood with his mouth open trying to scan the crowd for Hide, but he could not find the boy’s bright blonde hair with black streaks. Kaneki pushed his way through the crowd as he moved forward into the building in a hurry desperate to find his friend.

Inside the building was a sight he had never seen before and was a sight he could never burn from his memory. People being attacked by other people burned into his eye sockets and the image kept repeating in his mind. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he didn’t know if this was the reality he was now living in. There were people biting at screaming victims who cried for help as their flesh was being ripped apart by the other person’s teeth.  Blood stained the carpet that was once colored white. Groups of people were huddled over a now lifeless body eating at the skin and bone. They attacked each harmless victim as if they were wolves hunting deer.

Kaneki’s body froze in its tracks as he stared at the people who were eating each other. The ones who turned to cannibalism had eyes that were once white into black and pupils that were a dark red. They still looked like normal humans; their skin was clear and undead looking, they didn’t look like vampires or hairy beasts. You couldn’t tell that they’re monsters until you look them into their eyes as they eat you alive.

It wasn’t long until Kaneki heard quick footsteps and groaning and screaming coming towards him. It was the monsters that had come to eat him. They were coming to him like he was their prey; he was just like everyone else. He gasped and picked up his feet, he ran out of the building and away from the monsters. As he ran down empty streets, that seemed busy before, he had to make the decision to not go back to his apartment and to give up on finding his best friend.

His small daydream, not even a daydream more like a nightmare, was cleared away as soon as he heard the sounds that were coming from outside of the building. Outside of the shop he could hear the groans of the lifeless and he could also hear their feet being dragged everytime they walked on the hard pavement and past the shop.

Kaneki’s heart started to beat at a faster rate as he heard them get closer to the building. From experience he knows very well, that those of the dead have strong noses and from the sweat coming from his skin, would not help himself but smell more delicious.

He held his breath and clutched tightly into his backpack. The only things he had left was just a small plastic bottle that was empty, a few pain pills and one of the kitchen knives from his apartment. He quietly unzipped the backpack, making sure not to pull the zip too fast so it wouldn’t make any noise. Kaneki reached his hand into the bag and softly dug his hand around to find the sharp knive.  He searched for the handle and pulled out the long sharp weapon.

Kaneki clenched his fingers around the handle tightly as if holding into it for dear life. He didn’t know how many of them were outside and sure enough there was no way a single person with a knife would be able to take all of them at once. He just knew he had to be quiet or else there would be no way he would survive.

He attempted to hold his breath but as he held the air inside his lungs he could hear his heartbeat through his ears. He could feel every thump and with every pulsating beat he felt as if his heart was being too loud and that it would reveal his position. He started to breathe from his nostrils and his grip on the handle of the knife started to grow slippery from the sweat building up in his palms. The more tightly he held onto the knife the more he started to sweat. His grip started to feel loose and he tried to wipe one hand onto his jeans to make his hands less slippery.

But in his other hand the handle slipped through and the sharp blade cut through the palm of Kaneki’s hand. He bit down on his lip in pain trying to cover the sound of his voice. Blood started to pour out of the wound and onto the wooden floor and Kaneki’s jeans. In a panic Kaneki removed his sweatshirt and wrapped the fabric around the cut to prevent more bleeding. The cold air made Kaneki feel like he was jumping out of his bones.

“This is really bad…” he whispered to himself.

After he spoke, on the other side of the building, the groaning started to pick up as well as the sound of feet. Tapping was heard soon after on the glass windows and the doorknob to the building he was in was clicking and turning like crazy. He had been found.

Kaneki quickly used the bloody knife on one of his sweatshirt sleeves to cut the sleeve off and use it as a bandage. Next he put on what was left of the sweatshirt on and he picked up his backpack carefully. He got onto his knees and peered his head over the counter. The whole front of the shop was surrounded by dozens of monsters. Some were now banging into the glass window with their fists and some were at the door banging and attempting to use the doorhandle. The pounding of the fists on glass was a sound that terrified Kaneki. The vision of the monsters breaking the window with their bare hands and coming inside to eat Kaneki kept replaying in his mind.

He fell back behind the counter, back against the structure. He started to cry, he knew there was no other way out of this. He couldn’t save himself and there was no way he was going to make it out alive. He cried silently, tears fell down his cheeks and onto the bloody knife that was held between his hands.

He sniffled his nose, trying to keep the mucus from spilling out of his nostrils. Kaneki stared down at the knife in his hands only thinking of the only option to do. He grabbed the handle of the knife and picked it up to face the point of the blade to his adamsapple. He took a gulp and opened his mouth as if to say his final words that nobody would hear.

“I’m really… sorry Hide… I was too afraid to search for y-you.” Kaneki’s voice started to crack, “I-I’m so… sorry Hide…”

More tears started to fall from Kaneki’s eyes as he continued to think about Hide. “I’m such… a bad friend…”

Kaneki aimed the knife even closer to his neck. “I’m sor-“

His words were cut short as gunshots rose off in the distance. Kaneki’s eyes shot open in surprise. Multiple more shots rang out and the sound of the monsters started to grow faint then soon to no more sound. Kaneki held the knife to his chest as he stayed in the same position, too scared to even move. He sat in silence waiting for more shots or something, but there was no other sound.

The dark haired boy rose up from beside the counter and quickly glanced out the window that was a few dozen feet in front of him. He saw a tall man getting closer and closer to the building he was in. Kaneki fell back to his feet and hid back behind the counter. He tucked his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. One of Kaneki’s hands had the knife and the other laid bloody in cloth.

Kaneki put his head onto his knees and tightly shut his eyes bracing himself to face this stranger. This was the first time he has ever encountered someone since the world ended up this way. Kaneki started to rock back and forth trying to seize the nervousness that was in his stomach. He didn’t know if he was going to end up dead now or what this person was going to do once he finds Kaneki on the floor in a bloody mess. What if this person is going to think Kaneki is bitten on his hand and he’s going to kill him right then and there?

He sat in silence and in anticipation – until the door was finally kicked down a few seconds later.

 

The body of the nervous boy jumped at impact when the door fell to the ground. His uninjured hand on the knife held tight and his heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest.

The wooden floor creaked with every step the stranger took into the building. The floors sounded as if they were going to break with any amount of weight put onto them. Kaneki sat still and his breathing stopped to prevent the fog from coming out of his mouth.

“Ah, I remember this coffee shop!” The voice spoke from the other side of the counter, “Such a shame that there’s nobody no longer around to help out with this place. They made such delicious coffee.”

Kaneki shut his eyes and just wished he could become invisible. He hugged his knees tighter and from the pressure from tightening his grip sent a shock of pain to his injured hand. He bit his tongue to prevent yelling in pain. Kaneki tried focusing his attention back into the man to ignore the pain that was blistering in his palm.

The man was a small distance away from Kaneki he took a few steps around the shop continuously talking to himself then only after a couple seconds of him talking, he came to a quick stop. He took a deep breath from his nose and then reloaded his gun. “I _smell_ you.”

Kaneki’s body shivered when the man finished his sentence. Every hair on his body stood straight up and he was now terrified more than he ever would be before in his life, yes he was actually more terrified of what this person could do to him rather than the monsters outside could, this man must have had the scent power of those monsters to be able to smell his blood or even his sweat. Kaneki’s mouth opened and closed not sure if he should say something or not.

 “Come out from behind there, I won’t hurt an injured person, if anything I’ll be happy to help you.”

Kaneki stayed put in his spot, not accepting the stranger’s challenge.

The man chuckled, “Well that’s a bit selfish is it not? I _am_ offering assistance because I know you’re in need of it. If you’re going to be that way - I could just let you die here from blood loss.”

Kaneki swallowed, he wasn’t sure if this person was actually serious or not, was he just being overly cautious? “Y-you won’t kill me?” Kaneki asked.

The aura in the room radiated a strange feeling, it made Kaneki feel uneasy. “I swear I won’t, now please rise from behind the counter.”

The black haired boy slowly got into his feet. First his head popped up from behind the counter then the rest of his body. Kaneki’s blue sweatshirt only had one sleeve, though it didn’t look like a very nice blue color anymore, it had spots of red blood all over the front making it look like someone attempted to tie dye it.

Kaneki looked up from the knife that was in his hand to the man who stood a few feet in front of him. He had purple hair, shaved on both sides of his head and the hair on top of his head looked like it was gelled back but it didn’t look so greasy. He carried a black backpack and a handgun that was pointed directly at Kaneki, he also wore grey jeans that had rips and tears in them and a black long sleeved shirt that fit to his body structure. He was also very tall and slightly body toned.

The man looked down at Kaneki, “ _Tres bien_ … now what is your name?”

“K-Kaneki,” Kaneki shuttered out in nervousness.

“Kaneki..” The man’s voice sounded amused, “ _Dolce,_ I’m Tsukiyama.”

Kaneki nodded his head down in understandment, “C-can you help me… Tsukiyama?”

“Well, I did offer help didn’t I?”

Kaneki’s face light up slightly with embarrassment at his stupid question.

“Come out from behind the counter, we’ll need to leave here as soon as possible. Those gunshots will only attract the ghouls.” Tsukiyama said.

“Ghouls?” Kaneki asked with a confused look.

“Yes, a ghoul that’s what those monsters are called. A ghoul is defined to feed on dead bodies or interested in death. Therefore I call them, ghouls.”

“Oh… that’s kind of cool – calling them that I mean…” Kaneki said still obvious from embarrassment, “but where are we going to go Tsukiyama? You just said you would help me…” Kaneki said, clutching onto the knife handle.

Tsukiyama smiled and stuck out his hand in Kaneki’s direction as if signaling for Kaneki to grab ahold of it, “Don’t worry, it’s not too far from here. Once we reach there I will help you.”

Kaneki’s eyebrows furrowed, “W-Well I’d like to know where I’m going, s-sir.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t grab my hand even though I’m _offering_ it to you. I’m offering you help because I _know_ you’ve been by yourself this entire time – and drop the sir punk.” Tsukiyama said with a finishing chuckle.

Kaneki’s body shivered once more, “H-How do you know that?! You drop the punk if I can’t call you sir!”

Tsukiyama picked up his feet and walked in a slow fashion. As he walked he put his handgun into the belt loop of his jeans and then stared Kaneki right in the eyes.

“I already told you, I can _smell you_ and just by that I know _everything about you._ ”

 

…

 

“You never told me where we’re going Tsukiyama.” Kaneki whispered, looking up at Tsukiyama as they walked down a cramped alleyway away from the ghouls.

“I offered my hand and you took it, not my fault that you wanted to come.” Tsukiyama said with slight annoyance in his voice.

Kaneki head lowered to look at his feet and figured to stay quiet. The two walked quickly and quietly trying to reach the destination they were heading to. As they walked between old abandoned buildings the sounds of groaning and occasional screaming was heard not too far away from where the two of them stood.

Tsukiyama sometimes told Kaneki to stop and rest in the alleyways so that the ghouls could pass by. At one point when they stopped Kaneki looked at his hand that now had dried blood on it. The blood was now cold and crusty, Tsukiyama told him earlier that with dried blood the ghouls could no longer smell it because the cells in the blood either died or froze because of the cold weather.

Kaneki felt relieved after hearing that because now he doesn’t feel like a threat to himself or he doesn’t feel like he would endanger Tsukiyama’s life.

 

Running around in the cold weather made Kaneki sweat a lot. He never considered himself an active teenager. He liked to sit inside and read, sometimes study for school too. Kaneki’s only friend was Hide and Hide was the only one who could really understand Kaneki. That’s why the two were like two peas in a pod. They were inseparable; they were brothers just without the same blood.

Hide liked to joke around a lot; he was very talkative even though Kaneki was not. They were two opposites and usually opposite sides attract. Hide tried multiple times to set up dates for Kaneki but Kaneki never wanted to accept. He didn’t need a girlfriend, he only needed Hide.

Thinking about Hide started to put Kaneki in a sad mood. He thought about that day always, it was the only thing that seemed fresh to his mind. It was the day he lost his best friend and it was the day he screwed up.

“Oi,” Tsukiyama stopped in his tracks, which made Kaneki unconsciously run into him. He looked down at Kaneki and opened his mouth. “Why do you look so glum? Speed it up.”

Kaneki bowed his head, “S-sorry.”

Tsukiyama sighed, “Talk about it later okay? I am concerned about our lives here as much as your feelings. You’re my new partner so I’ve got to make sure you’re my top priority.”

“New… partner?” Kaneki’s eyebrows rose.

“Yes, yes. I should also say,” Tsukiyama ruffled Kaneki’s hair then got onto one knee, “ _Merci_ Kaneki.”

Kaneki’s face turned into a bright shade of red, his face looked as if it was a little round tomato.

“Even t-though you look so cool – you act pretty lame.” Kaneki said, trying to shake of his embarrassment.

Tsukiyama stood up and turned away from Kaneki and started to mumble something about “staying _calmato_.” After that he took a deep breath then told Kaneki to get a move on so they could get out of there.

 

It was starting to get dark out once they arrived to where Tsukiyama wanted to be. They stood outside an abandoned store that had one window beside the entrance. Inside the window were three head figurines that wore masks of different shapes and colors. One mask was shaped like a bunny, another was a black mask that covered all the face except the left eye and had a zipper where the mouth would be, and the last mask was shaped like a moon.

Kaneki stared at the masks in amazement, both of his hands were on the glass and he was peering through the glass like a kid outside of a candystore.

“Oi,” Tsukiyama said in a loud voice, “you’ll get your dirty bloody hand prints all over the window.” He walked towards Kaneki and he started to dig into one of his jean pockets to pull out a silk looking rag. “Wipe your hand on this, I’ll get you more cleaned up inside just get started for me.”

The boy nodded and unwrapped the bloody sleeve that used to be attached to his sweatshirt and packed it into his pocket. He stared at the deep cut that was in his palm; the blood inside the cut now congealed and was starting to form a small scab.

Kaneki tried to open and close his hand but the pain from his injury was preventing him to do so.

“Are you coming inside or will you freeze out there Kaneki?” Tsukiyama yelled from inside the store.

“C-Coming!” Kaneki replied back and hurried inside.

He ran inside and shut the entry door behind him. Once he was inside he turned around to face what was inside the building. The room was dark and there was very little lighting. Where Kaneki used to live was nowhere near this dark. There were podiums lined everywhere in the room that had head figurines with masks on them. At the end of the room was a bar and a couple of chairs aligned with the bar.

Tsukiyama stood at the bar with a candle in his hand and stared at Kaneki.

“W-What is this place?” Kaneki asked.

“I always thought it was some Halloween store but now that there’s a bar here, I’m not really sure. Looks like a mask store of some sort.” Tsukiyama answered.

“Is this the only room?”

The man shook his hand, “Storage behind the bar, has food and drinks in it. Though you don’t look old enough to drink.”

“Well…I’m nineteen so I guess you’re right.”

“I thought you were even younger, when’s your birthday?” Tsukiyama asked with a questionable look on his face.

“December 20th.” Kaneki replied.

Tsukiyama started to hum as if he was thinking of something. “It’s autumn so maybe I won’t tell on you, but you could get your birthday present early this year.”

Kaneki giggled, “There’s no such thing as birthdays anymore.”

“Sure there is,” Tsukiyama jumped off the bar, “You see my birthday is March 3rd.”

“Well what I mean is that there’s nothing to celebrate anymore.” Kaneki said quietly.

“Of couuuuuurse there is! You’re alive aren’t you? That’s something to celebrate, especially if you’re living in the world we’re in currently.”

“T-There’s nothing fun about being alive anymore.”

“There’s nothing fun about you saying something like that Kaneki. Why would you say something so depressing like that? Sure I understand how you fee-“

“No you don’t,” Kaneki cut in, “You don’t understand the pain of losing someone dearly important to you. You don’t understand that it’s your fault for not helping and saving them. You don’t understand for being the blame of someone’s death!”

“…Kaneki I’m sure everyone that’s alive right now understands that feeling,” Tsukiyama said quietly, his body leaned onto the bar and stared at Kaneki folding his arms. “Everyone has lost something and you don’t seem to understand that.”

“That’s because I thought I had nothing _to_ lose. I was wrong about that.”

Kaneki’s words echoed through the quiet room, Tsukiyama gave Kaneki a minute before speaking.

“…What did you lose?” Tsukiyama asked looking into the candle in his hands “was that why you were acting so sad about earlier – you kept thinking about what you lost?”

Kaneki stared down at his blood dried hand and didn’t reply to Tsukiyama’s question. He didn’t want to show his weak side to somebody he just met not too long ago. He was going to stay quiet just like he always used to.

Tsukiyama cleared his throat and put the candle down onto the bar counter. His hands were empty and were in need to touch something. Tsukiyama looked from the candle to Kaneki, who was still staring at his wound.

“I’m going out back to get some supplies for your hand, sit down and don’t run off on me.” Tsukiyama said, before excusing himself to behind the bar and into the closet.

Kaneki followed Tsukiyama’s orders and had a seat at the bar. The stools made Kaneki feel taller as if he were sitting on the bar countertop. Kaneki sat patiently as shuffling was heard in the storage room behind the bar and soon after Tsukiyama came out with a medical kit in hand.

“I’m glad you didn’t leave me Kaneki, I’m also really glad you listened to me.” Tsukiyama said with a smile.

Tsukiyama pulled out the supplies that were in the kit, things such as gauze, bandages, alcohol pads, aspirin and antibiotic wipes. The man told Kaneki to stick his hand out and lay it on the countertop with it held wide open so that it would be easier to clean his palm. Tsukiyama started to clean the wound with the wipes, the stinging pain from the wipes made Kaneki flinch at the cold pressure and made him whelp in pain. After he was done cleaning the wound he started to bandage the boy up then he finished wrapped it with gauze.

“Not too bad, that was my first time doing that to someone.” Tsukiyama said proudly.

Kaneki nodded his head as some sort of ‘thank you’ to Tsukiyama’s aid.

“Now time for celebratory drinks!”

“I-I,” Kaneki started to speak and spit out a little amount of words at attempt to argue with Tsukiyama, “don’t think I s-should.”

The purple haired man packed everything back into the medical kit and headed back into the storage room completely ignoring everything Kaneki had just tried to say to him. A few minutes later Tsukiyama came back out of the room with two different bottles in each hand. In his right hand was holding two wine bottles and in his other hand was holding two beer bottles.

“Take your pick, beer or wine?”

“Neither,” Kaneki quickly protested.

“ _Revissant!_ Wine it is.”

“T-Tsukiyama!”

Tsukiyama ducked down behind the bar digging for wine glasses for the two to drink out of. Glass was heard clacking around in the cupboards as he dug for the specific glasses and soon Tsukiyama’s head popped back up from behind the cupboards with two wine glasses in hand. He put one glass down in front of Kaneki and himself then he popped the cork of the bottle with an old bottle opener he had found.

Once the cork popped off the smoke from inside the bottle came out and the scent of the drink was the only thing that could be smelt in the room. Tsukiyama gently poured a small amount in Kaneki’s glass then put the bottle down immediately after.

“I-I told you I don’t want any, plus you didn’t even pour yourself any.”

“I want to see your reaction when you have your first drink for the very first time.” Tsukiyama grinned.

Kaneki stared down at his glass with the purple colored liquid inside. “Does it taste that bad for me to get a reaction?”

“No, but everyone has different reactions when they have a real drink for the first time.”

“You’re pressuring me” Kaneki said with a stern look.

“Maybe so, but I want you to forget about the world for a bit. I want to see your happy face.”

Kaneki blushed slightly and tried to look Tsukiyama right into his eyes with a straight face, “Why do you care about my happiness? You only met me not too long ago.”

“It might’ve been a little while ago but it was a fateful encounter. It just feels like it.”

“D-Don’t say things like that… stupid.” Kaneki said out of embarrassment.

“Well it does feel like that, I’m really glad I ran back into that shop. If I didn’t I’d be alone again and you’d be alone too. When I had other partners they never made me feel this special to have them by my side.”

“Didn’t we already discuss this? Can we move on?”

“We can move on when you take a drink.”

Kaneki looked at his glass and took a deep breath. “Fine”

 

It only took a few hours until Kaneki was out cold and Tsukiyama watched his sleeping, drooling, drunk face with a big smile on his own face.


	2. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of conversation, fluff and (very) interesting encounters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we go but first... I'm obviously late on saying this but I hope many of you had a wonderful time celebrating the holidays and I hope for all of you to have a splendid 2015! Also special thanks to friendly-ghoul on tumblr for making me some lovely fanart <3\. If you want to draw me some fanart (((which I would absolutely love to see))) you can submit it or tag my tumblr (gothghouls). Anyways, let's get going on this chapter.

 

 

The brightness outside was one thing that woke Kaneki up. The brightness shined through the one single window that was inside the shop. With that light it shined through the entire building and found the two men in a small room.

Kaneki woke up with an aching headache that made his head feel as if his brain inside his skull was about to burst. When Kaneki’s eyes made contact with the sunlight reflecting into the room he felt like his head was going to combust any second. He figured one reason why his head was reacting like this was because he had a hangover from drinking last night and it was the cause of him to wake up. But what really woke him up was the sound next to him. He woke up in a small cramped room filled with glass bottles, crates of packaged food and alcoholic drinks that only wanted to make him throw up at the sight. Beside him was not sleeping beauty but more like the beast. The snoring that came from the beast Tsukiyama was so loud Kaneki thought the ghouls would be able to hear his snoring miles away.

Kaneki groaned and sat up to stare at the sleeping mess that was beside him. Tsukiyama’s purple hair was definitely uncombed and in a total mess.  Kaneki got onto his knees and hands leaned over Tsukiyama’s body to get a better look of the man. There were strands of hair that stood up in places that made his hair look uneven and patchy. He also slept with his mouth slightly open but it wasn’t necessarily open wide enough for drool to pour out from the side. Kaneki showed a small grin at Tsukiyama’s disgusting state and softly nudged the sleeping man that was underneath him.

“Tsukiyama…” Kaneki whispered three feet away from Tsukiyama’s face and poked at his chest.

“Mmh…” Tsukiyama mumbled in his sleep as a response to brush off Kaneki.

“Tsukiyama… wake up…” Kaneki tried again.

“Nn – what…” Tsukiyama spoke out in a raspy voice with his eyes still shut.

“My head hurts Tsukiyama.” Kaneki said rubbing his head with the palm of his hand. When Kaneki touched his forehead it felt like his brain was throbbing and it was going to burst through his skull.

Tsukiyama groaned, “…go take some pain pills then.” Then rolled farther away from Kaneki.

Kaneki sighed, “But I can’t take pills without something to drink,” Kaneki added while looking around the storage room, “and we don’t have anything but alcohol… don’t you have water for me to drink?”

“Hell if I know…”

“Don’t you live here? You should know what you have and what you don’t have.”

“I don’t live here.”

Kaneki’s face showed a dumbfounded expression at Tsukiyama’s response, “What do you mean you don’t live here? I-I thought you did?” Tsukiyama rolled over to face Kaneki, who was looking down at him, “This is my first time ever being in this building.” He said rubbing one of his sleepy eyes with a closed fist.

“You mean… someone else could be living here and you just randomly broke inside… because it didn’t look occupied?” Kaneki asked slowly trying to understand Tsukiyama’s thoughts. Tsukiyama looked up into Kaneki’s eyes and opened his mouth. “I wanted to take you somewhere cool and I’ve always wanted to come here since I was little.”

In no time Kaneki launched forward and grabbed the neck of Tsukiyama’s shirt. Kaneki’s strength slightly lifted Tsukiyama’s head off of the ground. “Cut that out! Just by your stupidity this could get us killed!” Kaneki shook the fabric of Tsukiyama’s black shirt which made Tsukiyama’s head bob up and down from the anger boiling inside of the black haired boy.

Tsukiyama sighed and gently removed Kaneki’s shaky hands off of his shirt without a problem. “Talk about a headache, we’ll get out of here immediately then.” Tsukiyama laid on his back to examine and fix his now wrinkly shirt. “Y-You just stretched this out! Aw… come on Kaneki.” Tsukiyama whined. “ _Pas bon_! You don’t know how much I spent on this!”

“I don’t care about your shirt… We need to sort out a plan.” Kaneki rubbed his temples. “We can’t just leave without having an idea of where to go. So we need to discuss where we are going to go and if we’re going to have break into another building.” Kaneki said with annoyance in his voice.

Tsukiyama used his hands to flatten out the wrinkles in his black shirt. Until he succeeded perfection, that is absolutely no wrinkles or flaws in his shirt, he focused his attention back to the impatient Kaneki who had an irritated face. “Is there somewhere specific you want to go to?”

Kaneki let Tsukiyama’s question sink in for a little bit. If there was anywhere he wanted to desperately go to it would be… “The university, right?” Tsukiyama mentioned. Kaneki stared Tsukiyama right into the eyes as if Tsukiyama looked right through him. Was Kaneki really that readable?

Kaneki’s eye twitched. “H-How did you know that?”

“You told me about it last night.” Tsukiyama said while propping himself up with his elbow.

Kaneki’s eyes shot open, his pupils were wide and his mouth twitched slightly. “W-When?”

Tsukiyama stretched his arms into the air like nothing was wrong. “When you were drunk. You told me why you were sad and why you needed to go back to the university and that you missed… Hide? I think was his name.”

“I-I told you that?” Kaneki’s question sounded breathless.

“Yeah, even though I was expecting you to be happier when you were drunk, but you were so sad. You kept asking for hugs and –“

“There’s no way I was like that!” Kaneki cut in before Tsukiyama could finish his sentence. Kaneki felt slightly embarrassed and awkward if he truly gave thought into that. There was no way he could act completely opposite from how he usually was when he was sober. The thought almost made him even sicker. “But could we head to the uni then?” He asked trying to get his mind off of the clingy thought.

“Wouldn’t bother me any.”

Kaneki’s heart fluttered with happiness. After ditching Hide on that day Kaneki would be given another chance to redeem himself. “Thank you Tsukiyama.” Kaneki smiled widely, as if his smile reached ear to ear.

“Anything for Kaneki,” Tsukiyama said while reaching his hand over to Kaneki’s face to touch his slightly long black hair that rested on the top of his head.

“Tsukiyama…” Kaneki began to speak, “what really happened… Last night? Are you telling me the truth?”

Tsukiyama held his hand on top of Kaneki’s head to twirl and twist Kaneki’s soft black hair within his fingertips. He waited a few seconds after Kaneki asked his question before he let go of Kaneki’s hair and looked him into his grey eyes.

“Do you really want to know?”

Kaneki hid behind his hands, “Was I truly embarrassing?”

“No – no, if anything you really pretty adorable last night!” Tsukiyama laughed.

“What happened…?” Kaneki asked again fighting the urge to blush.

“You… talked about Hide and how much you missed him. You started to cry and you kept asking me to comfort you. So I… I invited you in my arms and you sat there until you fell asleep. Nothing else happened though I swear I’m not some kind of pervert – unless you want me to be one then su-“

“Okay…” Kaneki interrupted, “Make sure I don’t ever drink again.”

Tsukiyama showed a small disappointed smile, “Alright.”

The two sat in silence for a bit. Tsukiyama switched quick glances at Kaneki who had a pinkish face. Kaneki sat quietly fiddling with the gauze on his hand that was bloody from his wound. Tsukiyama noticed when Kaneki would become either embarrassed or nervous he would always avoid eye contact and play with that gauze around his hand.

As the two sat alone together inside the wind from the outside started to pick up and soon rain was falling onto the ground. The rain was already starting to pour hard and from the wind combining with it, it sounded as if a storm was coming – or as if it already arrived.

Tsukiyama noticed the whistling of the wind and got up from his place. He walked out of the small storage room leaving Kaneki still inside and walked into the barroom and stood in front of the window that was next to the entrance. Tsukiyama stared at the rain attentively.  The wind that mixed with the rain made the water sound like hail. There was so much rainfall that the thin sidewalk in front of the building was now flooded with water.  There was so much rain it made outside look so foggy.

“Well I guess you’ll have to deal with that headache for a bit longer now.” He spoke out loudly to Kaneki.

Kaneki got up and left the storage room and walked next to Tsukiyama. He stared out of the window and his shoulders drooped down in disappointment. Kaneki walked away to sit at the bar alone while having his forehead rest in the palm of his hand.

“Don’t worry Kaneki we’ll find Hide, and some water for that hangover. We’ll just have to wait till this clears up. Unless you want to grab a bottle and leave it outside.” Tsukiyama said making himself laugh, but it didn’t make Kaneki laugh. Tsukiyama shrugged and rested his head on the glass of the cold window. Tsukiyama focused his vision away from the rain and onto the glass his warm breath was breathing onto. The warmth coming from his mouth made a small part of the window turn foggy. Tsukiyama looked at the small cloud on the window and proceeded to draw a picture of a smiling young boy. After he added the smile the picture quickly faded away.

“Hide’s probably not even alive.” Kaneki said to himself.

Tsukiyama left the window and his now nonexistent drawing to sit by a sulking Kaneki at the bar. “Don’t say that, I learned to stop saying things like that. You should too, besides it’s not good for your health!” Tsukiyama said while patting Kaneki’s back.

“What made you think things like that? Or what made you stop?” Kaneki asked while removing his hand from his forehead.

Tsukiyama took a deep breath, “One thing I learned from living in this… not so _dolce_ world is that many people believe in negative outcomes. I used to be like them, I used to be just like you. I’ve been in large groups and small groups in just a small period of time.” Tsukiyama spoke in a fairly quiet voice though he was usually loud. “I experienced people who were so impatient with waiting for people, in our group, to catch up to us and they would get so angry and they’d leave them behind for the ghouls. People that were still with me, I’d hear them say all of that negative shit. Saying “they’re probably dead” or some other shit. I used to believe it until I saw some of them weeks or a month later, still going strong with a larger group or by themselves. They beat the odds I’m sure Hide will too.” Kaneki listened while fiddling with the gauze on his hands as Tsukiyama spoke.

“I think you should have faith in Hide.” Tsukiyama added. “I’m sure he has strong potential and a powerful belief towards you, I know I do.”

Kaneki looked up to Tsukiyama, who was already looking at him with glowing, bright eyes. “W-why do you say that? You don’t really know anything about me a-and we only met yesterday.” Kaneki said with a shaky voice sounding as if he were about to cry, “Why do you act like you’re so grateful to be with me?”

 “I can’t really explain it, I can just feel it.” Tsukiyama shrugged and looked at Kaneki. “And it feels really warm and comforting. It’s like _harmony_ and I just don’t want to leave.”

Kaneki brushed his fingers through his black hair then tucked a few strands behind his ear. “It sounds like you’re in love with me.”

Tsukiyama took a deep breath as if he waited to say something, but he didn’t. Instead he just stared at Kaneki’s injured hand, “I would hold your hand but I don’t want to hurt you more.”

“It doesn’t hurt that much.” Kaneki whispered.

Tsukiyama swallowed. “Then… Could I hold it?”

“…No.”

Tsukiyama frowned and took in another deep breath in attempt to ignore rejection. In his mind he repeated the term _calmato_ to keep himself calm. “Kaneki… are you in love with Hide?”

Kaneki turned his head away to avoid eye contact with Tsukiyama and changed his sight back to the pinkish gauze wrapped around his hand. “No… I never thought of Hide anything more than a brother.”

“Incest then?” Tsukiyama smirked at his own joke.

Kaneki rolled his eyes, “Shut up.”

The air in the room started to feel like it was beginning to shift. Tsukiyama paused for a second then he opened his mouth. “…Have you ever been in love before?” Tsukiyama asked curiously.

“I don’t know what it feels like. So I wouldn’t know.”

“W-Would you want to see what it feels like?”

“I don’t have time to fall in love.” Kaneki said while still looking at the gauze wrapped around his hand.

“Why would you say that?” Tsukiyama asked with a straight face.

“It’s just… I can’t with the world we’re living in, if I get emotionally connected to someone that’ll put my life in danger even more.”

Tsukiyama nodded his head in understandment. “I understand what you mean – you’ll do anything for that person even if that’s putting your life on the line. I guess that does sound a bit pathetic.” Tsukiyama glanced down to his lap for a few seconds then back to focus on Kaneki.

“But I think you should try it.” Tsukiyama added.

Kaneki looked up from his hand and turned his head to meet Tsukiyama right in the eyes. “Why?”

“Because… It’s a really nice feeling and sometimes it’s really worth the risk.”

“You’ve been in love before?” Kaneki stopped playing with the gauze.

Tsukiyama grinned at the thought, “Yeah… I didn’t really notice it was called love until now. It makes me feel really warm.”

Kaneki’s mouth twitched, “W-Who was she? Was she a good person? Good personality, beautiful…”

“Well… She wasn’t a she but that didn’t stop me.”  Tsukiyama laughed. “I guess it was quick but I learned we have a lot of similarities. But I would like to know more about who he is and who he was. I just wanted to be the only one to know every single thing about him, physically and mentally, to sum it up.”  

Kaneki’s eyebrows rose with surprise, “W-Wait you mean…”

“He was a boy.” Tsukiyama said bluntly.

Kaneki nodded slowly not knowing of what to say to Tsukiyama. Kaneki never gave it any thought or would’ve never even given any thought into thinking that Tsukiyama was gay. There was no way Kaneki would’ve thought about it in the present or in the future. Kaneki just looked at Tsukiyama’s smiling face and didn’t focus on anything else.

Then Tsukiyama reached out his hand and gently wrapped his pinky around Kaneki’s. Kaneki looked down at the connection of the thin bony touch and then back looked back up to meet Tsukiyama’s eyes. Tsukiyama opened his mouth first. “And he’s sitting right next to me.”

 

…

 

The clock on the wall on the store still worked, it read **2:03** in the afternoon. The rain cleared soon as the clock hit 2 and that meant that it was time to leave and head straight to the university.

The two went back into the storage room to retrieve their bags and to pack up some food that was left in the crates. Tsukiyama grabbed majority of the food that wasn’t moldy and Kaneki didn’t bother to grab any alcohol because he knew he wouldn’t be experimenting with it anytime soon. During the packing session it was mostly in awkward silence and Tsukiyama could feel the tension in the small room.

“Do you have everything sorted?” Tsukiyama asked breaking the silence.

“Mhm…” Kaneki mumbled and nodded his head, the nape of his neck turned pinkish when Tsukiyama asked him a question.

“Are you ready then? You’ll have to lead the way.”

“Yeah let’s go.” Kaneki said putting his backpack on.

As the two walked out of the storage room and into the barroom the doorknob to the entrance of the shop started to twist and turn as if someone was trying to get inside. Kaneki stood in horror at the storage entrance and Tsukiyama quickly ran to the entry way with a gun in his hand that he pulled out from his belt loop. He made sure to lock the door last night so if there was a ghoul outside there wouldn’t be any way they would be able to get inside.

The doorknob continued to twist and turn as if someone was desperate to get inside. Everytime the doorknob clicked it sent Kaneki’s stomach into a knot.

“Kaneki…” Tsukiyama whispered, “Hide behind the bar okay?”

Kaneki nodded his head and obeyed Tsukiyama’s orders and fled behind the bar. The small boy bent his knees so that most of his body was hidden behind the bar the only thing left of Kaneki, Tsukiyama could see, was his black hair and his eyes peering over the wooden bar. Tsukiyama stood straight up with his back against the corner of the wall right beside the door. He pointed his gun at the floor and held his finger on the trigger. The two men sat quietly in the room with trembling bodies waiting for what was going to happen next.

The shaking of the doorknob stopped after a few agonizing minutes. Tsukiyama kept his gun in hand as he made his way back from the door to the bar.

“Are you okay Kaneki?” Tsukiyama asked the frightened boy.

“Yea-“ Kaneki began to answer but the doorknob started to rattle again. Before Tsukiyama had time to run back to the spot he was at the doorknob clicked and the door flew open.

Tsukiyama froze in the middle of the room and stared at the figure that was under the doorframe. The light from outside shined right into the room and revealed who Tsukiyama was, because of that Tsukiyama couldn’t run. The mysterious character walked inside the building with an angry look on his face. In the back of the room Kaneki ducked under the bar hiding from the scary stranger.

The man was smoking a cigarette. He had pale skin with piercings in his face and from his wrists to his neck the skin was covered in tattoos. He also had black hair that was shaved on one side and tied back into a small ponytail. “What’re you doing in _my_ shop?” The man hissed while taking the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it outside onto the wet pavement.

Tsukiyama aimed his gun and calmly spoke to the tobacco smelling man. “We needed a place to stay and this place didn’t look occupied.”

“We?” The man asked raising an eyebrow.

“M-My partner - he’s hiding,” Tsukiyama said signaling behind the bar.

“Hmm,” The man hummed in amusement as if a lightbulb lit up in his head. “You and your partner could stay over if you’d like…” The man said licking his lips.

“I think we’ll pass, we’ll just leave – thank you for letting us stay.”

The man leaned up against the door and crossed his arms against his chest with a smile on his face. “Why leave so quickly?”

“W-We just have somewhere else to go.”

The man’s smile didn’t stay for very long. His smile faded as he stared at Tsukiyama. He stared at Tsukiyama from a short distance but Tsukiyama felt uncomfortable with those dark eyes burning through his skin. The stranger looked at Tsukiyama like he was studying him. “You stole from me. That’s why you break into buildings.” The man accused and clenched his jaw in anger.

“What’re you talking abo-“ Tsukiyama started to spit out a sentence then stopped himself. He glanced over his shoulder to look at the backpack that was resting on his shoulders. He understood what the stranger meant by stealing. “You stole all my meat that I worked very hard for…” The man continued, “That’s fine if you want some but I’ll need a payment. I don’t work for free.”

“What kind of payment?” Tsukiyama asked staring into the cold dark eyes of the stranger. The man chuckled and walked towards Tsukiyama. He lined his mouth right next to Tsukiyama’s ear. Tsukiyama could feel his hot breath pressing into his ear as he opened his mouth. “I want your friend.” He whispered into Tsukiyama’s ear. Tsukiyama shivered and pulled away quickly from the man and gave him a serious look. “Why would you want Kaneki?” Tsukiyama said in an angry tone.

“Kaneki…What a nice name…” The stranger said twirling with his black hair, “It’s a fair trade besides …How do you think I got that meat?”

Tsukiyama searched into the man’s eyes and found the answer, “…Cannibalism?”

The man started to clap and laugh, “ _Ding ding!_ Good for you!”

“You’re fucked up and you’d be crazy if you think I’d hand Kaneki over to you!”

“That’s not very nice. I don’t criticize your way of living.”

“I don’t kill people to eat them! I’ll just give you this back then because we don’t need any of it.” Tsukiyama said while pulling off his backpack to unzip the packaged human meat inside. Tsukiyama tucked his gun back into his belt loop then held the plastic bags in his hands. The flabby, squishy feeling in his hands made Tsukiyama cringe and sick to his stomach. He was holding the meat of someone who was once living in this world.

“What if I say I don’t want it back?” The man teased.

“You’re going to take it back we aren’t fucked up and we don’t eat our own kind.”

“We all have to do things in order to survive.”

“You sound like a fucking ghoul, eating harmless innocent people. You’d be better off being dead.” Tsukiyama growled.

The man quickly launched for Tsukiyama’s neck as if Tsukiyama struck a sensitive spot to anger the man. He jumped onto Tsukiyama and fell both onto the floor. The man wrapped his thin, bony hands around Tsukiyama’s neck and started to squeeze down on the flesh.

“K-Kan-enki!” Tsukiyama struggled to get Kaneki’s name out of his throat. Tsukiyama’s arms and legs flew around trying to push the man off of him but it was no use.

Kaneki jumped up from behind the bar and fear ran through his veins at what he was seeing. He screamed and ran from around the bar. With the sound of Kaneki’s screaming the man let go of Tsukiyama’s neck and pulled out a small knife that was in his pocket. Kaneki jumped onto the man’s shoulders and pushed him back onto the ground.

Kaneki put his hands on the man’s wrists to keep them down and away from stabbing Kaneki, but the man was more muscular and bigger than Kaneki. He pushed Kaneki to the ground so that he was kneeling above him. Both of Kaneki’s hands were bound together by just one of the stranger’s strong hands. Tsukiyama laid on the ground a few feet away still trying to get air into his lungs. Tsukiyama watched the man tower over Kaneki with the knife in his free hand. The man lifted the knife into the air above Kaneki’s face. Kaneki watched in terror he wanted to fight back but his body felt paralyzed with fright and it was held strongly against the floor.

“What a good meal, you’ll be delicious. There’s no way I can put you to waste.” The man said to Kaneki.

“S-St-op!” Kaneki cried.

“Now, why don’t we have more fun?” The man said with a devilish smile.

“Ts-Tsukiyama! Please help me!” Kaneki yelled desperately to his partner. The man played with his knife while Kaneki yelled for help.  “I have two perfectly good meals – it must be a good day today!” The man said bringing the knife to Kaneki’s face, “First I’ll eat your eyes then maybe your intestines. Maybe I’ll even eat you alive! I’ll just take a bite right now!“ The man said moving his mouth down to Kaneki’s neck. He breathed against Kaneki’s neck and gave it a small lick making Kaneki flinch at the wet touch. “You smell and taste irresistible! I can’t wait to take a bite-“ The stranger opened his mouth and his teeth grazed the surface of Kaneki’s smooth skin. Kaneki gave one last yell to his partner – one call that was finally answered.

Seconds before the man could sink his teeth into Kaneki’s flesh a gunshot rang in the building and it buzzed through Kaneki’s ears. The man that was above him stopped talking and fell down flat onto Kaneki. Blood poured out from the hole that was in the middle of his forehead. Tsukiyama ran over to Kaneki and picked up the stranger’s dead body and threw it to the side to pick Kaneki up. Tsukiyama brought Kaneki into a tight embraceful hug and squeezed him very hard.

“T-Tsukiyama I can’t breathe!” Kaneki said.

Tsukiyama let go and started Kaneki in the eyes, both of their eyes were watering. “I-I’m sorry, I’m just glad you’re okay. I was… so scared I thought he was going to poke your eye out with that knife in his hand.”

“If he did, I would get to wear a cool eyepatch though.” Kaneki smiled and brought Tsukiyama into a less strong of a hug and spoke into his shoulder, “We better get going though the ghouls could be here any second.”

“You’re right,” Tsukiyama ruffled Kaneki’s hair then offered his hand for Kaneki to take it, “grab your bags let’s go find Hide.”

 

…

 

Shortly after they left the sound of ghouls started to get louder but at the distance the two were at, there wouldn’t be a way the ghouls would catch up to them especially because the ghouls already found a meal that was already killed fresh for them.

According to Kaneki when he examined the street signs there were nearby and the small map he obtained, he said the university would be about less than five miles away from their location. When Tsukiyama was told that information he got a bit excited and not really stressed out about it. More miles meant more time with Kaneki.

On the other hand Kaneki wasn’t so bothered by the long distance either. It was still daytime so they weren’t in need to hurry because the sun would be setting a few hours past 2’o clock somewhere near 5. As long as the two kept their pace they would make it within an hour to spare. Plus Kaneki wasn’t so bothered being with Tsukiyama, even though he did say some awkward things to Kaneki that made his heartbeat flutter.

Tsukiyama and Kaneki discussed the plan on their way to the university as they walked there. Mostly the plan was Kaneki’s idea because he was the one who wanted to be there. Kaneki walked faster and was ahead of Tsukiyama, Kaneki would get so excited he didn’t really watch where he was stepping and ended up almost slipping into a water puddle. Tsukiyama would laugh when Kaneki was able to save himself from getting wet.

Tsukiyama would watch Kaneki’s every move as he discussed what they were going to do once they reached their destination. Kaneki would start to skip ahead and continue to talk while Tsukiyama completely disregarded everything he just said. Tsukiyama would watch Kaneki as if he was put into a trance by the boy’s words and movements. Something about the way his black hair moved as he walked, something about his lips that curved when he smiled, something about his teeth and eyes that shined so bright, and something about Kaneki was so genuine and unique Tsukiyama just wanted to put him into a box and lock him up just for him to have. But of course you can’t do that to people.

“Tsukiyama,” Kaneki said stopping in his tracks and looking back at Tsukiyama with a smile. “Are you even listening to me?”

Tsukiyama shook his head with a smile then scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment, “N-No I’m sorry Kaneki.”

“It’s okay; I guess you’re a bit tired of me. I promise we’ll make it to the university then you can take a break from me.” Kaneki turned to face forward and started walking again.

“There’s no way I could get tired of you.” Tsukiyama started to walk faster to catch up to the energetic Kaneki. “Did you forget everything I said to you earlier?”

“I don’t really think I could forget.” Kaneki said looking up at the sky.

“W-what do you mean by that?”

“That’s my first confession I ever received.”

“Really?” Tsukiyama said in a surprised tone.

“Yeah,” Kanek looked down to his feet and giggled at the memory. “Back in the day Hide got all the girls. I was the one who stuck to books though he did try to set me up on a date, obviously it didn’t go to well.”

 Excitement flowed inside of Tsukiyama’s body when he heard that Kaneki enjoyed reading. “What is your favorite author?” Tsukiyama asked ecstatically.

“Sui Ishida. I love how well written everything is. I’ve read everything he has produced and I reread everything until something new is published.” Kaneki said with enthusiasm. Kaneki continued to talk about Ishida’s books while Tsukiyama listened to everything Kaneki had to say. Kaneki spoke with such love and compassion in his voice there was no way Tsukiyama couldn’t listen. There wasn’t a way he could take his eyes off of him.

“What happened with that date?” Tsukiyama asked once Kaneki was finished talking about his passions.

“Well, it started at a coffee shop around this area. Hide and I went there for the first time and I saw her at a table all alone and she was really cute and she was reading a book by Sui Ishida. There’s no way I couldn’t hold back on talking to her. Though of course I needed Hide’s help getting to talk to her.” Kaneki scratched his head awkwardly and his face was becoming pink once again. “W-We scheduled a date, her and I, on the next day for coffee but she never came. I was pretty disappointed and I didn’t leave my apartment for a few days.”

“Do you think you loved her?”

Kaneki exchanged a small, short glance to Tsukiyama then back looked down to his feet. He watched his feet move forward one after another. “No, I don’t think so.”

Tsukiyama wrapped his arm around Kaneki’s shoulders and nuzzled his head with his nose. “Well, that’s too bad because she will never realize how _ravissant_ you are.”

Kaneki blushed and took ahold of Tsukiyama’s hand, which was a bit bigger and firmer than Kaneki’s hand, “You’re so kind Tsukiyama.” Kaneki’s uninjured hand was colder and smaller compared to Tsukiyama’s hand. Holding Kaneki like this made Tsukiyama’s heart beat fast. Just holding Kaneki’s hand felt so delicate, would it be okay if Tsukiyama touched him like this? Even though Kaneki invited it? Was the rest of his body this delicate to the touch?

Kaneki pulled on Tsukiyama’s hand encouraging him to move faster. The sudden pull almost made Tsukiyama fall face first into the ground. “Come on! I want you to meet Hide!”

Tsukiyama thought to himself. _He’s really taking my advice… He really believes that Hide is alright._ Tsukiyama smiled and ran along with Kaneki; they both connected through hands and stayed together until they reached where they needed to be.

 

They reached the university at dusk with almost hardly any time to spare. They both stood outside on the side of an abandoned restaurant a few hundred meters away from the building. There were about five or six ghouls wandering around outside in front of the university and the doors to the building were boarded up. As weird as it might sound this actually gave hope to Kaneki, that those boarded doors could’ve meant people were living inside and that boarding up the doors were an attempt to keep the ghouls out.

Kaneki bit his lip trying to figure out what to do with these two problems that sat ahead in front of them. Kaneki whispered to Tsukiyama, “Using a gun at this time would add more problems. Shooting in the dark would make it hard to see where the ghouls are at and at nighttime ghouls seem to be the most active… Also with trying to tear down that wooden barrier protecting the doors would take some time, especially if they’re nailed in. Therefore using a gun then trying to take down doors would only mean on answer, death.”

“You’re thinking too hard.” Tsukiyama said with crossed arms and with a shook head. He pulled out a knife from his pocket and showed it to Kaneki. “I’m going to quietly approach the ghouls from behind their backs while you go silently up to the doors. You’ll figure out how to get those barriers off or you’ll find a window.”

“If I break a window it’ll be loud.” Kaneki responded with one eyebrow raised.

Tsukiyama handed him the knife his pulled out from his pocket and handed it to Kaneki. “You’ll figure out how to carve a hole into a window.”

“B-But,” Kaneki stuttered and looked up from the knife to Tsukiyama. “Wha-What if I screw up? You won’t be there to help. Y-you can’t go alone, what if-”

“Put some faith into me,” Tsukiyama interrupted, “I put all my faith into you.”

“Tsuki-“ Kaneki whimpered, tears started to form in his eyes.

Tsukiyama bent over a placed a light kiss onto Kaneki’s forehead. “You’re worrying too much. Leave from the back, I’ll go from the front. I’ll meet you inside.” Tsukiyama said pointing a finger behind Kaneki encouraging him to leave from right there. “Go find Hide.”

Kaneki sniffed his nose and wiped his right eye with his gauze covered hand. “You better meet me inside. Hide and I will be waiting for you.”

“Okay. See you later.” Tsukiyama smiled and nodded his head. Then the two separated going different ways.

Kaneki rushed around every corner of every building to get to the university. He panted as he ran and sweat was beading from his forehead. He held tightly onto the knife Tsukiyama gave him and thought about Tsukiyama meeting Hide and how all three of them would be together forever. Kaneki prayed for Tsukiyama to make it back alive, he prayed that he wouldn’t be the one being alone.

Kaneki made it to the university in no time. He stood quietly with his back against the door. The night has finally arrived and it was now completely dark. Kaneki squinted his eyes trying to search for Tsukiyama but it felt impossible to do so with all the darkness. Kaneki had a flashlight in his bag but turning it on right now would be just plain stupid. Kaneki turned around to face the wooden barrier and lifted up his hands to feel around the edges to see if there were any nails in the think wooden piece. Surprisingly there wasn’t any.

Kaneki found the edges of the big board and pulled it gently off the door. Kaneki was surprised anyone would trust a flimsy piece of wood to use as a barrier. Kaneki placed the wood on the side of the entrance and then pulled open the heavy doors.

The doors creaked and echoed through the ominous, smelly building. Kaneki took a few steps inside and shut the door behind him. He pulled off his backpack that were on his shoulders and set it onto the floor to pull out his flashlight and gun, just to be safe. He put his gun in his back pocket then switched on the flashlight. The light aimed straight ahead of him to a flight of stairs. Kaneki moved the light around curiously to see what changed with the place he used to go to almost everyday.  

The white carpet was worn out and dirty. Mostly shades of a faded red and a light brown were mixed in with the soft surface. The hanging chandlers that used to be hanging down from the ceiling were now on the floor, smashed and broken. There were dead, rotting bodies of either ghouls or regular human beings, which probably summed up why the building smelt and it made Kaneki feel sick by looking at the sight. There were also plenty of chairs and tables knocked over along with books with missing pages scattered out all over the main area.

Kaneki started to move himself to the staircase ahead of him. Each step he took made a creaking noise sounding as if those stairs couldn’t hold his weight for very long. He hurried up the staircase and took a right down a hallway that would lead Kaneki to the boys’ dorm rooms. Kaneki still remembered Hide’s room number but where his room was located was at the other end of the building. With every step Kaneki made sure to be careful so that he wouldn’t run into any danger.

The university was painfully quiet; it was so quiet Kaneki already realized that there was probably no one living inside, but at times Kaneki swore he could feel breathing on the nape of his neck. He would turn around to check if anyone was behind him multiple times but there was nobody there. He thought he was just going crazy with all the fear of Hide and Tsukiyama being dead and all the worry about him possibly dying any second. Kaneki just wanted to hurry and get out of there but rushing could have a big consequence.

 

Eventually Hide’s dorm was found after ten or so bone chilling minutes. Kaneki stood outside of room 210B in a shaky state. He kept the flashlight aimed on the doorknob of the closed door. The door was still in perfect shape, it showed no signs of being kicked in, being damaged or being broken into. It seemed like the ghouls weren’t able to find Hide’s room.

Excitement and beyond fright was a mixture in Kaneki’s stomach. His heart was beating through his chest and each thump could be heard in his ears. Kaneki lifted up his arm, which felt like a thousand pounds, and put his gauze covered hand onto the cold doorknob and twisted it slowly. 

Pushing the door forward felt impossible to do. Kaneki knew just by moving this slab of wood attached to hinges, he would figure out if Hide was dead or if he wasn’t physically here. Just thinking about if Hide wasn’t in there, Kaneki would have to go on a search for Hide and that would be another difficult task. Kaneki wouldn’t hesitate to go looking for him though; he would do anything to see Hide again, to hear Hide again, and to see Hide smile again. Kaneki craved to see Hide only because he forgot how much Hide glowed when he showed those features. Seeing Hide… only made Kaneki feel warm inside.

The thought of Hide made Kaneki push open that door to reveal an empty room with nobody inside.

 

…

 

Kaneki made no attempt to search every single room in the building. He didn’t have the energy – he felt extremely tired and extremely depressed. He didn’t want to search for something that wasn’t going to be there. Kaneki made his way out of the dorm hallway and then down the staircase to go find Tsukiyama, who wasn’t there to meet Kaneki inside like he told him he would have. Kaneki’s heart felt like it dropped when he realized he was the only one inside, he quickly turned off his flashlight and hurried to the entrance of the university to see if Tsukiyama was still outside.

Kaneki opened up the doors and stared out into the cold darkness of outdoors. There were no sounds of ghouls around, and that was a sign that Tsukiyama had killed the remaining ghouls. But if he already killed the one’s he needed to kill… Why was he taking so long to get back?

Kaneki ran down the steps in front of the doorway and held tightly on the knife that Tsukiyama gave to him. He held onto the pocketknife tightly while he stood waiting for the man to appear out of the darkness, Kaneki expected Tsukiyama to come rising out of the pitch dark in a radiating light because that light reflected his personality – bright, kind of like the sunshine that was overcoming a horrible storm. But the longer Kaneki waited Tsukiyama didn’t come. Kaneki needed to find his partner; Tsukiyama already knew where Kaneki would be so leaving the university would be a bad idea, right?

 “Tsukiyama… Where are you?” Kaneki whispered to himself expecting an answer from Tsukiyama.

In his other hand Kaneki still held the flashlight. He looked down at the dark figure in his hand that resembled the flashlight and then quickly looked back up. Kaneki gritted his teeth and swallowed the saliva in his mouth as if he was bracing himself for death or for a fight.

He swiped his thumb over the switch on the flashlight and aimed it forward. The light lit the street in front of him for about twenty feet. Now that it wasn’t completely dark anymore Kaneki was now able to see what was in front of him. The streets had three dead bodies set in different places at different distances from each other. Those bodies weren’t there earlier, they weren’t dead at least. Of course Tsukiyama did what he was told to do and killed the ghouls that needed to be slaughtered.

Kaneki began to run straight to the restaurant he last saw Tsukiyama at. He began to retrace his steps to where Tsukiyama said he would go. At least he thought that would be easier to do than rather of searching the entire area. As Kaneki continued to move further and further away from the university he picked up the faint smell of blood. The smell wasn’t so strong but it was strong enough to be close by. Kaneki figured to check up on the horrible smell because that scent could’ve pulled Tsukiyama in also. Kaneki was prepared anyways, so if he had to fire a shot Tsukiyama would be able to find him easily. He quickly picked up his feet and followed his nostrils.

Kaneki passed by familiar markets that were broken into and burnt down gas stations as he made his way closer and closer to the strong, iron smelling scent. By the time the smell was practically burning his nostrils he was right behind an apartment that Kaneki used to live in. There were two levels and the smell was coming from the second level. Kaneki crept to the metal staircase that had large droplets of blood on it. He took a deep breath and went slowly up the stairs.

He took small careful steps on the high level. He shined his light into every door making sure there was nobody inside. Every step he took was getting him closer to the deadly smell. On his final step he reached the end of the hallway. On his left side was the last door and from behind that door was the polluting smell. Kaneki had his flashlight aimed at the door. The room number on the door said: **107.**

That room number used to be Kaneki’s. It used to be where Kaneki lived. It’s where he lived until that day. Kaneki started to tear up at the thought of that painful memory. Then he shook his head to bring him out of it. It was not time to begin crying.

Kaneki grabbed the doorknob and quickly twisted it. The door swung open and light from the flashlight lit up parts the room. Kaneki had his flashlight aimed as well as his knife. He walked forward into the nose stinging room, prepared and ready to fight.

There was nothing in the living room or kitchen except for more blood. The blood was in bigger droplets and it stained into the carpet and the smell was still strong, but it wasn’t coming from either room. Kaneki moved silently to another closed door that was a few feet away from the living room. Behind this door Kaneki knew was his bedroom and he remembers that day clearly and what he did on that day but he left everything in this room in an unorganized hurry. And this door was not shut when he left.  

Kaneki swiftly attacked the doorknob and pushed the door open. From right there he regretted his decision.

On his bed he used to sleep on, sat a tall man with purple hair. He held some sort of small fabric in one hand and then his arm in the other. He cried while looking down at the fabric. Tear drops were noticeable on the cloth. “Tsuki-Tsukiyama?” Kaneki’s eye’s widened and his heart dropped.

Tsukiyama began to chuckle hysterically while wiping up his tears. “I-I found him.”

“F-Found who?” Kaneki thought Tsukiyama was talking to the fabric he was holding.

“Hide.” Tsukiyama answered sounding stuffed up from all the crying he just did.

Kaneki’s heart skipped a beat hearing Hide’s name. “How do you know if it was Hide?”

“You told me…” Tsukiyama spoke, “What he looked like when you were drunk. I automatically realized who he was when I saw him.”

Kaneki began to smile with excitement as if not caring what he split to Tsukiyama when he was drunk. “Well what’re you doing here? Let’s go find him!” Kaneki said running up to Tsukiyama to tug onto his long sleeved shirt. “Where was he? Take me to go see him!”

Tsukiyama flinched at Kaneki’s touch and gently grabbed his wrist to pull it off of his arm. “We can’t do that.”

“W-Why not?” Kaneki’s face saddened. Tsukiyama didn’t reply. He only stared coldly at the small patch of fabric in his hands. “Tsukiyama, why not?” Kaneki asked again, this time with a more serious expression. Tsukiyama’s mouth twitched as he thought of what to say, “B-Because you’ll get bitten.”

“W-What… are you saying?” Kaneki’s voice shook.

Tsukiyama tightly clenched the fabric, “He’s a ghoul now…” Tsukiyama whispered while averting his eyes from Kaneki's.

It took a second for what Tsukiyama had just told Kaneki to process in his brain. Soon tears fell from Kaneki’s eyes and onto the floor. “H-How?” Kaneki repeated between the hicks and sobs in his voice.

“Kaneki,” Tsukiyama said letting go of the cloth to set it on the bed. He stood up and put his hand onto Kaneki’s wet cheek. Tsukiyama smeared his thumb across the skin to wipe away the falling tears. “I want to tell you something… It might not be the right time but I don’t know how much long this could wait.”

Kaneki still shed tears as Tsukiyama continuously wiped them away. Tsukiyama smiled sadly and continuously repeated, “Shh.” In attempt to calm him down. Finally listening Kaneki stopped crying and looked Tsukiyama fearfully into his eyes.

“I couldn’t do it.” Tsukiyama admitted. Kaneki’s wet eyes looked into Tsukiyama’s dark eyes. “…Do what?” Kaneki asked. Tsukiyama closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “I couldn’t kill him.”

“Hide?” Kaneki sounded congested from crying.

“Yeah, I couldn’t because I j-just couldn’t do that to you. You wanted to see him for so long and I just can’t let you get your last memory of him being dead.” Tsukiyama’s voice cracked as he spoke.

Kaneki touched Tsukiyama’s arm, his arm was drenched in blood, and then looked him into his eyes. The smell of raw flesh was the horrible scent. “Because you weren’t able to kill Hide… you got bit, d-d-didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry Kaneki…” Tsukiyama cried onto Kaneki’s shoulder. Kaneki stood completely shocked and tears ran like a river down his cheeks. Kaneki caressed Tsukiyama’s head and cradled him in silence while he cried. The only thought circling in his head was that he just lost everything he had. He lost everything right in front of his eyes and now there was nothing he could do.

Minutes went by of Tsukiyama nonstop sobbing and weeping. Kaneki didn’t bother to tell Tsukiyama to tone it down because he wouldn’t have minded if the ghouls came right now. He wouldn’t have minded if one of the ghouls happened to be Hide. At least Kaneki would die with Hide on his mind and Tsukiyama by his side.

After mind wrenching cries and ear piercing yells eventually Tsukiyama stopped howling and he lifted his head off of Kaneki’s now dampened shoulder.

“Kaneki” Tsukiyama said wiping his nose with the sleeve of his long sleeved black shirt.

“What, Tsukiyama?” Kaneki replied with glossy looking eyes and wet cheeks.

“I have a favor to ask you.”

“What… is it?”

Tsukiyama dug into his back pocket and pulled out a revolver. He held it in both hands carefully then looked up from the gun to Kaneki. “I want you to end me, before I have a chance to end you.” He said handing the gun to Kaneki.

Kaneki’s breathing hitched and his mouth hung open. He looked down to the gun then back up at Tsukiyama. “I-I can’t!”

“Now you sound like me,” Tsukiyama chuckled then cleared his throat. Tsukiyama stared down at the gun that was being held in both of his blood stained hands. “Remember earlier how I said I was glad to have met you?”

Kaneki nodded his head with tears forming back in his eyes. “I still don’t regret saying it.”

One tear fell from one of Kaneki’s eyes, “You really love me, don’t you?”

Tsukiyama smiled, “With all my heart.”

“T-Tsukiyama… you big idiot…” Instead of taking the gun Kaneki hugged Tsukiyama around his waist and snuggled his face into Tsukiyama’s chest. Tsukiyama wrapped his arms around Kaneki’s shoulders and embraced him in a, not so tight, hug. Tsukiyama petted Kaneki’s smooth black hair while Kaneki gripped the back of Tsukiyama’s shirt. Tsukiyama didn’t say anything to Kaneki about toning down the grip because it would’ve stretched out his shirt, no, he just didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to say anything because he didn’t want to ruin this moment.

That hug felt like it lasted milliseconds; it didn’t feel long at all. And the worst part is that, that would be the last time Tsukiyama would ever hold Kaneki again.

At first there was a loud growl and fast footsteps. It ran up the metal staircase and got louder as it ran down the hallway to the open door at the end. It moved fast and once Tsukiyama and Kaneki pulled out of the hug it already arrived in the bedroom. It growled and had puffy blond hair, a ripped and tattered black and yellow sweatshirt along with bloody shorts. And importantly those red eyes gleamed when the two made eye contact with the monster. It stood under the doorframe and there was no doubt Hide came back.

“Kaneki! Get back.” Tsukiyama demanded Kaneki who stood right in front of him.

Kaneki’s body shook at the sight. His stomach dropped and his body shivered with goosebumps. “T-that’s Hide?”

“He must’ve followed the scent of my blood.” Tsukiyama said loading the revolver in his hand.

Kaneki turned around at the sound of Tsukiyama loading his gun. “Y-you’re going to kill Hide?”

“What choice do I have?! We can’t put him on a leash!”

Kaneki looked back to Hide, who was stilling standing at the doorway. Kaneki became surprised that Hide hasn’t attacked yet. “W-What if he knows who I am?”

“He’s a ghoul he can’t understand!”

Kaneki started to walk forward to Hide. “Kaneki what are you doing?!” Tsukiyama yelled. He ran after Kaneki and pushed him back away from Hide then pointed his gun at Hide’s face.

“Tsukiyama!” Kaneki yelled running back to Hide but he was to be stopped by Tsukiyama’s hand on his chest. “You said you couldn’t kill him before!”

“I know I did but he has a chance of hurting you! I don’t want that!” Tsukiyama shouted back at Kaneki.

Kaneki looked from Tsukiyama to Hide, “Hide remember me? It’s Kaneki! We were best friends since we were children!” Kaneki told Hide.

Hide tilted his head at Kaneki’s comment. “See look he understands!” Kaneki told Tsukiyama. Kaneki made his way through Tsukiyama and up to Hide. Hide stared intensively into Kaneki’s eyes then licked his bloody, red stained lips.

“Kaneki get back!” Tsukiyama shouted again.

Hide ran forward and slammed into Kaneki making them both collide with the floor. Tsukiyama fired a shot and missed Hide. Hide looked up in anger and leaped into Tsukiyama and took a bite out of his hand. Kaneki laid on the ground and watched in horror. Blood spilled out of Tsukiyama’s hand and the bone cracked as Hide took a bite. Tsukiyama screamed in agony as a result. The fight dragged on and Kaneki felt paralyzed. Tsukiyama’s gun fell out of his hands in the struggle to pull Hide off of him. Hide’s weight made Tsukiyama stumble into the wall then into Kaneki’s old bookshelf, spilling his books everywhere all across the floor. Hide continued to take bites out of Tsukiyama’s body but now on his neck and arms. He was bleeding uncontrollably. Tsukiyama yelled for help but Kaneki sat frozen. After putting up a fight it was finally stopped when a gunshot was fired and both Hide and Tsukiyama fell to the ground – both their bodies were silent and rested on top of each other.

Kaneki stared blankly, not understanding what just happened because he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.

Kaneki turned his head to the doorway and saw a man with a black, long lab coat holding a pistol that was smoking out of the barrel. The man had white hair and glasses – his facial features made him look too young to have white hair. Behind him were a few other people but the darkness of the hallway made it difficult to see their faces. Kaneki froze while looking at them.

The white haired man looked down at him, still pointing the gun. “Have you been bitten?”

Kaneki quickly shook his head.

“Alright then. Akira, Amon. Grab the kid we’re leaving.” The man said to the people behind him.

“Wait – what?! Where are you taking me?” Kaneki yelled while squirming in the woman and man’s arms as they picked him up. “Did you just kill my-“ Kaneki stopped midsentence as he got a glance of the two dead bodies that were Tsukiyama and Hide on the ground in a bloody mess. “H-How could you?!”Kaneki screamed while hitting the backs of the two strangers that carried him out of his apartment door.

“Akira,” The man said walking down the hallway. “Put the kid out.”

“Yes sir.” The blonde woman said before colliding a heavy metal object to Kaneki’s head that knocked him completely out. Kaneki’s last memory from that day was the smell of blood that was even stronger than when he smelt it before.


End file.
